A spirit animal connection for me tends to start with emotions or some deep thing I'm dealing with and needing to process thru.
Emotions were strong with me yesterday.
I made the mistake of looking at the analytics for my website Tuesday night, after Monday's launch of my new collection. My CMO daughter yelled me for that a bit later lol, because at first glance they were.....not good. As far as I could tell there were only 12 sessions.....and 6 of those were me working on my website.
Seriously? After all the work I'd been putting in for weeks and countless, sleepless nights...only 6 people had looked at my website?! Wtf?
So I had a meltdown that night, and it carried over into the next day.
Because I began to question everything - should I Really be following this ArtnSoul path, especially at this moment in time? Should I just go get a fast food, cashier, or stocking shelves kind of job instead to help make ends meet?
What the heck am I doing?
The first spirit animal painting I ever did was of a heron back in 2014 - MY spirit animal. Heron had shown to me in a massively profound way in the span of a week, and has been guiding me ever since teaching me calm and patience. Every time I would get frustrated or confused or stressed that my path was keeping me from Art or the desired way I wanted to go, it would show up to say - you're okay, you're heading the right way, just hang on......good things are coming...what you want is being set up for you.
So I would take deep calming breaths, come back to my center, and keep going. Keep striving to someday have the time and space to fully step into the full time artist path I've been aiming for my entire life.
Fast forward to yesterday - and ALL those old fears and doubts and stresses that have off and on plagued me most of my life were showing up again going - WTF are you doing?? You're being irresponsible. Who the heck are you to think you can take this path - see....no one is even looking at your website! You need to go get a job so you can be a responsible adult - I know you think you can be an artist but seriously......Art is not the way. No one is buying anything.....you're never gonna be a success. You don't have what it takes.
Ugh I hate those voices.
When I get like this I tend to do several things to find my way out of the downward spiral. Mainly I cry....a lot. I know its better to process your emotions and feel ALL the fucking feelings rather than bottle them up or ignore them. If you don't feel them they just build inside you til they become released in some other way - thru outbursts, or addictions, or negative patterns and habits. Ignoring your hurts only hurts you and maybe those around you too in the long run.
So I do a lot of feeling my feelings....I cry, I get angry in a pillow, I sometimes swamp - releasing emotions thru movement of your whole body. I also will meditate and journal and try to reconnect to my heart and Soul. Journaling is a big one for me - there is something about writing that just allows things to come up and out you didn't even know were bothering or affecting you. Its like the pen has a mind of its own when you journal. It's been one of my best practices for working thru tough situations in my life and I highly recommend it.
I also turn to the "woo" - the metaphysical for guidance. This is where spirit animals often come in for me. And messages from the Universe. A lot of times signs and messages show up in the real world - an animal crosses my path, a quote or video shows up when I scroll social media, a see a profound billboard while driving around, hear a lyric in a song....messages are everywhere.
But I also have many oracle card decks I look to for some guiding wisdom too. I always do yearly and monthly card pulls. I aim to do weekly and daily cards too, but when life is busy and messy I'm not always consistent with those. I know they are there tho when I need them and whatever card I pull when I do, is exactly what I need to hear, even if it makes no sense when I first pull it. Sometimes the message is obvious, other times it takes some analyzing and sitting with to find the meaning in whatever situation I'm dealing with.
Case in point - yesterday I turned to the cards during my meltdown. Am I being irresponsible? Is this my correct path - pursuing full time art? What about my bills? What message do I need to hear right now Universe? What do I need to know?
And the card I pulled - from a deck that mostly features women in the images......was a Wolf.
Its message for me was - Get enough rest. You will find a way thru tricky situations. Tune into your instincts and trust the timing. Stay focused but flexible. You have the skills to handle this path. Your resourcefulness and capacity to meet your needs is greater than you realize. You WILL find a way thru. Stay the course.
And then as confirmation, throughout the rest of the day, every time I opened social media......there was wolf again......a random post of a wolf sanctuary I've never heard of, another video with wolves howling, an image of a wolf in a background.......
I never looked up the meaning of the wolf after I pulled that card (which I often do when an animal shows, but I didnt yesterday), and I never even said wolf out loud, so it wasn't the algorithms tuning into my voice or searches.......it was the Universe tuning into that connection of my energy and the card, and bringing me more confirmation that wolf's message in that card was indeed meant for me to listen and hear.
This is how I KNOW when a spirit animal is speaking to me and its message is one I need to trust in. It shows up multiple times in multiple ways with wisdom I needed to hear. And yes, I have gotten messages I've not wanted to hear, or had been trying to ignore - like face your fears and do the thing you're scared to do...you WILL still be okay.
So I'm staying the ArtnSoul course, but being flexible in how it unfolds. If not now....when, you know? When I'm much older and slower? So why not now.
I'm trusting my instincts and all the messages that tell me this is my correct path. It's been what I've wanted my entire life and what EVERY SINGLE SIGN the last few months has been telling me to follow. The Universe has completely cleared my schedule and is giving me this time to really focus on my art and build my desired life....that's how I see it anyway. It's telling me to trust I will be supported and will receive exactly what I need when the time is right.
Along the way when those fears and doubts show up - because they always do again at some point - I know they are just testing me to see how bad I want what I want. Do I REALLY want this Art path I say I do? Yes......Then prove it. Fight for it. DO the work. Keep going.
If I go get a regular job somewhere out of fear and discomfort....what is that telling my Art? My Soul?
Fear is a great protector, but its also a great blocker keeping you in what it sees as the "safe zone". But fear cannot see the potential opportunities and beauty on the other side if you just keep going towards what you want - it only sees what it knows, what is missing, what could go wrong. It has no faith or trust.
But I do have faith and trust. I KNOW I will be supported for following my Soul's calling because thus far - I always have been. It may not be exactly the way I want, but its exactly the way I need.
So today - I painted Wolf. Because I can. Because its guiding me in this moment and calling to be created thru me at this time. Its asking me to trust and believe in my own instincts, my own unique path and to honor it.
To continue to follow my Art.
So I took a background I already had painted from a year ago or so that felt like it fit the idea I had, and added the wolf in a similar style as the lion, tiger and bear paintings in my new collection - with some of the background showing thru the animal. Something is not quite right for me with this painting yet tho - I'm pretty happy with the wolf overall, and I like the background.......but together.....something is off between them. I'm gonna have to sit with it for awhile and wait til it tells me what it needs next.
This is the process of my ArtnSoul.
Oh, and circling back - when I looked again at the analytics for my website since the launch - that number 12 I saw was just for part of the day on Tuesday. My actual number was 132 sessions on Monday, and thus far thru today there have been 249 looks at my website. Which makes me feel much better. Now to just convert more of those looks into sales......😊🙏
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