Day 214 - surrender

There comes a time when you must surrender who you think you are in order to become who you are meant to be. If an acorn always remains an acorn, it can never become a tree, or even a forest. We must let go of our limiting beliefs, those thoughts from ego that say - this is who we are, its who we've always been and who we'll always be. By letting go we have the potential to be something greater than our egos can ever imagine. Listen to the calling inside you, you never know where it will lead - you just have to be willing to surrender.

I am letting go of the fact that I missed posting Art Every Day this past weekend. I was out of town and had a long exhausting eventful 3 days. I didn't even think about art. I mean I did, but I had no energy to put into sketching something at the end of the day when I collapsed into bed, and thus it didn't cross my mind that I HAD to draw something. I realized this last night when I returned home, yet I still did not sketch. Art is a big deal to me. Its who I am in my soul. I lost it for many many years. I started this blog last year during a time in my life I began heading in a new direction. I thought if I could do art every single day for 30 days straight it would reignite my love for it in my soul. And it has. In 213 days I only missed one day. Until this weekend. Looking back it was not only something I wanted to do but something I felt I had to do. For me. I know no one is really looking at this blog except my sister and anyone who might happen to stumble upon it in passing. No one is out there keeping track to see whether I post or not, that I know of. Most of the time its not very exciting anyway, just a sketch or picture of my current project. Because that's all I have time for sometimes. I would like to do more, get more in depth with my art and writing, and someday I hope to. I have many projects and ideas that I would like to help manifest. I hope to surrender my old ways, let go of certain things more and just follow the creative whispers of my soul whether they lead anywhere or not. But I also need to pay my bills, so working right now is important. And I have other obligations that need my attention as well. So my soul work is often relegated to whatever time I have left in my day. Thus the quick pencil or phone sketches I so often post. That is also why I missed the last 3 days. My days were so full and I was so tired at the end of them, I just had nothing left to give. Normally that would upset me. I made a commitment to myself to do Art Every Day and I wasn't able to keep it (though I did pretty good making it to 213 days). There is only so much I am capable of giving in a day though, and this weekend something had to give. I didn't realize it was my AED until last night.  I watched a video by Kyle Cease this morning about the acorn I mentioned above. That was my inspiration for this sketch. While sketching it I realized I needed to let go of the fact that I missed doing art the last 3 days. I cant change it, and I know for a fact there will be days in the future I will miss it again. And you know what? Its okay. I am still an artist. I am still doing a good job in my life and its okay that other things besides art need to take priority once in a while. It doesn't mean I've failed if I miss a day of drawing or painting. The spark has been relit in my soul. I will not lose my art again. I just might have to take a rest day from it here and there and rest days are always good. From this point forward I am no longer going to stress about posting AED. I will still do my best to do and post something, but if I can't, that is okay too. I will just pick up where I left off the next day, or day after that. It is far more important to take care of myself and the things in my life I need to, than to stress about doing a sketch at 11:30pm when I'm exhausted after a long busy day and I haven't done art yet. Sometimes you just have to let go. And that is okay.

I hope you have a beautiful soul fulfilling day!